How to Approach Women: Ten Things You Need to Know About Doing it Right

9 Mar

1. It is 100% A-OK to boldly approach a girl you have never met before, so long as it IS NOT cock-first on the dancefloor. It’s a given, but based upon the number of violations perpetrated regularly at bars everywhere, I felt this needed to be addressed immediately for the benefit of those misguided souls who missed the universal memo.

2. If you are approaching her, she already knows you are interested. This is okay! While it may feel slightly awkward to know that your cards are on the table, it’s far less awkward than someone who is clearly hitting on you trying to pretend like they aren’t. You want her to know you’re interested. If she’s interested, she’ll flirt right back. On the flip side, if she isn’t interested, she will make it clear. In sales, they say that the second-best answer is “no”, and this applies in the dating world because you’re doing each other a favour by being honest and allowing the other person to move on to the next.

3. A whistle, moan, groan, or grunt, in any combination, is just not going to work. However a genuine smile will, especially if it’s accompanied by something like, “Hey, I think you’re really beautiful. My name is [Brad Pitt], what’s yours?” Truly, the key is to be either genuine or unique with your approach. It doesn’t really matter what you say, it can be a sincere, non-creepy complement, a banal question, a comment on something happening around you. Just speak up and once you do…

4. She is hoping that you come armed with some conversation ideas. We don’t care how lame they are. Just have something to say after the initial introduction is over. All the typical questions work, including: “What are you drinking? Have you been here before? Are you from Toronto? How is your night going? What do you do? Etc. Etc. Etc.”

5. Commenting on body parts will make her feel uncomfortable, even if your intentions are pure. This is the only restrictive amendment to sections 3 and 4. Maybe you approached her because of dat sweet a$$, but don’t go and admit it to her!

6. Just buy the damned drink. Of course it is justifiably upsetting and downright maddening when some girl accepts a drink from you, only to disappear 0.1 seconds later. But those girls suck, we didn’t like her anyways, and you just spent $7 dodging a bullet. Any girl worth her knickers will politely decline a drink from a guy she isn’t interested in. And the fact is, if a girl is interested in you, she will want to know you are into her also. By investing that $7 and the extra time that you will assumedly be sharing drinks together, you show her that you aren’t just killing time. You are also acting like a gentleman, and making her feel like a lady, the benefits of which are outlined in section 10.

7. Give it one more try. You headed to the washroom, she got railroaded by eight drunk girlfriends, or one of you got swept off in an exodus of drunk people heading to the dancefloor for Gangnam Style. Whatever the reason, if you lost her and you liked her, get out there and find her again!

8. Ask her out already. On an ACTUAL date, not a bro-pub night with nine other dudes. You should do this either when you reach the bottom of your drinks or the end of the night, depending on how your conversations are rolling and if you must attend to attention-hungry friends. Tell her you would like to take her out for dinner, ask for her number, put it in your phone, and call her the next day. Yes, I said call, not text. But don’t worry, when she fails to pick up because her mind is busy being blown by the phenomenon of a twenty-first century man actually dialing a strange girl’s number and calling it, then you can send a follow-up text with details for the date.

9. If it doesn’t work, don’t sweat it. It doesn’t mean your approach was lame or your conversation was boring or that you aren’t a sexy, charming dude. It just means the chemistry wasn’t right, the pieces didn’t quite fit, [insert more annoying but truthful clichés]. It could mean she is sort of ambiguously kind-of dating someone, or that she’s deeply involved in a hopelessly unrequited romance, or that she just lost her job and is off her game. It may help to remember that girls get rejected too, all the time. But keep that chiseled chin up and keep trying because I can tell you that most single women are hoping to be approached by that clever, brave, genuine, and handsome fellow who will buy them a drink and call with a real voice on the phone afterwards.

10. The bottom line: Ladies want a man. Be the pursuer, buy the drink, keep her engaged, and ask her out. If you’ve got a chance, this is the way to maximize it. If you act like a man, you’ll attract someone that acts like a lady, who will love you for your manliness and will eventually want to express her appreciation to you in very unladylike ways.


3 Responses to “How to Approach Women: Ten Things You Need to Know About Doing it Right”

  1. Anthony Moore March 11, 2013 at 2:46 pm #

    Duuuuude. Great post! haha, I loved reading this, very interesting and insightful. Good advice. Too many of my guy friends do not ever think of these things. Awesomest post I’ve read all day. :)

    • wehaveallweneed March 11, 2013 at 3:05 pm #

      Thanks Anthony! I’ve been reading your blog and am loving it – you are full of great ideas and inspiration for job-seekers :)

      • Anthony Moore March 11, 2013 at 3:18 pm #

        Thanks so much:) People like you make me so stoked to be a writer!!

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